What you are about to see may disturb you.

I am an American married to an Australian.

We have our differences.

For example, his people preference inappropriately short-shorts on men, sport games that take 5 days to complete, and inefficient workplace processes. (Generally speaking.)

My people preference imperialism, real freaking hot dogs, and main roads that go over 40mph. (Generally speaking.)

This weekend my husband presented me with a "snack" that he made while we watched a movie. It consisted of crackers (which he called biscuits which is why I was utterly confused when I saw the final product) covered with a layer of butter, Vegemite and topped with either cheese or a slice of pickle.

I had been suffering through a bout of gastro-intestinal disturbance all weekend and I didn't want to eat ANYTHING, but by this point in my 3-day illness I momentarily lost my dignity and thought , "who doesn't eat pickles with butter and vegemite?"

After my husband asked what gherkins were.... which lead me to wonder why he had BOUGHT them in the first place if he didn't know what they were, and why he thought they would go well with Vegemite, I thought nothing more of the incident.

The following sight, however, after almost 2 years of marriage and constant lectures on what we do (ketchup and bbq sauce) and do not (my gourmet chocolate) put in the fridge, horrified me.

Yes, you might see the bottle of opened gherkins. Nice and toasty on the pantry shelf in between a box of bread crumbs and vinegar.

And I had wondered why the pickles weren't as crisp and chilly as they usually are when we had our little snack...