Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Musk Life Savers: or the most disturbing thing to happen to me recently

So today as I was stopping by the newsagents to pick up a new bus ticket I saw some traditional five-flavour Life Savers. Not normally a candy-in-line kind of person, I thought to myself, "I haven't had any of those in a while, why not?" THEN, next to the "regular" life savers I saw the Musk life savers. I had heard the horror stories of Australian candy... and this was apparently evidence. I needed to try them.

Being disturbed by the pink packaging and the word "musk" on the tube, I hid the candy in my bag while I tried to open it and sneak one out on my way to the bus. This resulted, mercifully, in the first "candy" breaking into several pieces, so naturally, I threw some of the pieces onto the ground (biodegradable, right?) and ate a small piece.

My thought process:

This tastes like Lush smells. Not good. I love Lush, but I don't EAT soap. Or potpourri, or musk. Can I spit this out? Will people look at me? It's not MELTING! It's hard! It's disgusting! I can't even CHEW it because it's so hard. Why would they make this flavor? I wanted to CRY. Eventually, I recovered, wiped my tears away and got on the bus.

Later that night when my hubs called from work I told him about the Musk candy.

Me (innocuously): "Have you ever had musk life savers?"
Him: "Oh, they are so NICE." (said in a way only Australians can use the word nice, as in to convey: magical, total approval, great. aka noooicce.)
Me: Testy Silence.

Him: They are BEAUTIFUL! (Again, Americans tend not to describe candy as "beautiful"... then again, we don't turn the anal glands of deer* into candy flavors)
Me: Are you joking?
Him: No can I have some?
Me: Well, I've got a whole pack left.... and etc.

* ok so technically musk is a discretion from a gland located between the stomach and genitals of the musk deer. Like I said, anal glands.